Unemployed and Confused

Almost at my wits end. Don't have any money nothing new but still. Girlfriend has been possessed by snatchitis and is avoiding me as if I just did some unforgivable act. I couldn't be any more susceptible to a full blown breakdown. The past couple have been sort a slow motion downward spiral. Part of me just wants to disconnect but I still want to seek more fulfillment if that is at all possible. I suppose its time to really answer important questions. I'm aware that I've let myself slip, but hopefully this doesn't continue. I haven't had a job for a while now, which I'm not sure is a bad or good thing. Its refreshing to not be subject to the constant demands of a job, but then again I feel idle and unworthy. Until lately not working has been a complete blessing as I did the things I enjoy, but now its like I'm avoiding the daily struggle that is custom to many. I guess I fear I might lose the boost unemployment can bring, and having the bs of a job weigh me down. Any Suggestions?